To God about Death


I find peace in your pain.
She was much more yours than mine.
You formed her body,
you shared her every thought,
you pursued her all along.
She was your daughter, your lover, your bride.
Me? She was only my mom.
How could I think you didn’t care…

The last time I talked to her
I thought she was happy.
The way she joked and laughed
put my heart at ease.

Why didn’t you move?!
Why didn’t you reach out
with your world-creating God-hands,
and catch her with your love?
Why couldn’t she find enough reason to stay
in the colors of your sunsets,
the promise of your Aprils,
the faces of her daughters?

The last time I saw her
we said goodbye at an airport.
She tried to look strong
but I saw her tears.

Where do I run with this screaming emptiness?
Who can understand the pain?
You wait for me in the deep blue silence,
you – the most faithful one.
You look at me
and offer no answers but your son.
Cover me with truth and love.
You are my strength and my song still.